Sucker Punch.

Out of the blue. It stings and hurts. And is more powerful than any of us thought.

What to do? Do I fight? Do I flee? Do I punch back? Do I taunt for more? Do I say that enough is enough? Do I turn the other cheek? Do I pout? Do I dwell?

I will stand firm

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Piece by piece.

It's going to hurt...

be frustrating...

be long...

be uncomfortable...

be scary...

be sad...

It's going to be hell.

Sometimes it's not going to make sense...

You will look for a way out...

and they will be there.

"Why" will be on your lips every morning...

afternoon...

night...

everyday.

But what I can say is this...

I will be there...

I will hold your hand...

and these pieces.

I will try with all of my strength...

and fail...

Then I will try with all of my God through me...

and succeed.

I can...

will...

must...

bring your heart to something whole again.

Why?

Because I care...

cherish...

honor...

respect...

love...

you.

For God...

My God...

Your God...

Our God...

is greater than all of this.

Isaiah 43:1 But now, this is what the LORD says — he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Beautiful.

You are Beautiful.

You'll realize this one day.

And when you do,

I told you so.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Ps. 139:14

Forever Young.

Do you want to live forever?

"May the best of your todays...be the worst of your tomorrows"

We say we will take it one day at a time.

A step by step motion.

We never realize that one day those steps,

may not come anymore.

So for this one time,

Take my hand.

Come with me,

Now.

And we can pretend we'll be
forever young.

To do or not to do, that is the question.

While reading Wild at Heart and Father Fiction, there is an inescapable concept of 1. realizing you need a father, 2. realizing your father has wounded you, and 3. forgiving your father.

I have done 1 and 2 to the best of my ability.

Not 3.



Melchor Zavala
708 N. County St.
Waukegan, Illinois 60085
224-656-5509



Still can't find the strength to do anything.

God will provide one day.

Father Non-Fiction?

Changes?

[x] yes [ ] no

Good changes?

[x] yes [ ] no

New beginnings?

[x] yes [ ] no

Tough times?

[x] yes [ ] no

Worth it?

[ ] yes [ ] no


























[x] Definately

The epiphany of confussion.

Last night. Was tough. To say the least.

There are plenty of times where I have convinced all my friends that I am over this.

And I convinced my family.

But out of all the times, I think I forgot to convince myself.

So now I'm at a crossroads.

Do I want to convince myself. Or...

Louder. Please.

I can hear your screams.
Even when you don't yell.
I can hear your screams.
Even when you don't whisper.
I can hear your screams.
Even when you don't speak.
I can hear your screams.
Even when you don't look at me.
I can hear your screams.
Even when you aren't in my presence.
I can hear your screams.
Even when you aren't upset.
I can hear your screams.
Even when you are happy.

I can hear your screams.
Because I know you.
I can hear your screams.
Because I care for you.
I can hear your screams.
Because I want to help.

I can hear your screams.
Because I am screaming too.

OMG

Today was a wedding of an old friend.

*New Wedding - Old Friends*

It also was what seemed to be the start of something new.

*Old Friend - New Relationship*

But it was also the continued growth of a wonderful friendship.

*New Day - Old Friendship*

Then there is you.

*Old Friendship - Old Relationship - New __________*?

It confused me. And it is scary.

Shooting Stars

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now.

A week has past, I meant to write I swear, but time is fleeting.
Please forgive me.
My mind has wandered to and fro, thinking about the past and the present and the future, but still nothing has come to fruition.
So I will wander and ponder.

And wish that the airplanes were shooting stars.